Having spent my 20s as a serial monogamist and the majority of my 30s as a curious singleton, at 42 I want to share my experiences, my inspirations, my love stories because this life is fleeting and only love matters.
Whilst our ancestors would sit around the fire under the stars, sharing their love stories, connecting about matters of the heart, I hope this will be a space in the modern world where we too can come together, connect, share, inspire.
We are living through times of immense change; a complete paradigm shift. We may feel like the ground is falling from under our feet. What some may regard as a falling away I perceive as a coming together of a new heart-centred way of being.
The unshakeable truths of life remain the same from generation to generation, century to century; humans are all essentially looking for the same things – to live a life of purpose, to love and be loved, to be the best they can be.
Whilst the core longings of the human spirit stay the same, the pace of technological development over the last 20 years has been so rapacious that I don’t feel it’s possible it has left the way we relate to each other unscathed. Human relationships are inevitably affected by the wider framework of societal, technological and economic flux.
The scale of the instant accessibility of dates, hookups, sex and ‘situationships’ that online dating has birthed should not be underestimated. Whilst this has been a positive experience for many, it can also engender a “kid in a sweet shop” giddiness that makes it difficult for anyone to exchange going deeper into their present relationship for the seductive promise of perfection that the next swipe, the next date, the next encounter holds.
Technology is not intrinsically good or bad; it’s the intent that you infuse it with that’s important. We have never been more “connected ” but we have never been lonelier; The UK’s first Minister for Loneliness having recently been appointed. I have had some incredible experiences thanks to dating apps and met people who I might never have crossed paths with. I have several friends who are now happily shacked up with their beloveds, either married or breeding.
On the other hand; social media and dating apps are huge businesses, designed to be heavily addictive. They claim that they want us to fall in love, settle down and live happily ever after but that is not part of their business plan! I also feel that dating apps are seriously affecting the way that men and women communicate with each other in real life. It’s as if a type of inertia creeps in; it’s much easier to hide behind a screen than be vulnerable and go and ask someone for their number in a bar. I’m always touched by The Metro’s ‘I saw you’ column. 100% of those people wanted to exchange details but didn’t, either because they were too shy, too busy, or too scared.
Dating app fatigue permeates The Zeitgeist – a sense that it is harder to meet people in real life in 2020. It’s time to explore new ways of connecting, to inject a dose of sparkle, curiosity, optimism and hope into an area that for some can be rife with feelings of disappointment, frustration and sadness.
For many, opening up about matters of the heart is difficult, unfamiliar or uncomfortable. My wish is that this will be a space where your heart, your hope, your dreams will be illuminated.